Tag Archives: Star Trek

Yard Trek: A chick in distress

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 5.14.16

In an effort to maintain citizen diversity, Admiral Nom-Giver recently oversaw the establishment of a civilian Gallus domesticus colony after members of the prior colony fell victim to various fatal encounters.

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Our single remaining gallus regularly roams the sector, and it is our conclusion that without a gallus community she finds herself without company. This has led to several acts of piracy on her part, namely threats which resulted in her illegally confiscating food resources from myself. Lieutenant Zeke also reports that her incursions into Yard Base are bold and she regularly helps herself to resources she finds.

I am not certain that providing company will deter these incursions. I feel stricter methods, such as deactivation of her flight mechanisms, would be more effective.

In any case, the new members are youths and require special environmental controls until they adjust to their new environment.

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Lieutenant Zeke and Captain Marble are suspected of violating the prime directive and interfering with the colony. Both have been reprimanded and additional security measures have been added to the colony’s habitat access port.

In Captain Marble’s defense, Lieutenant Zeke was seen most frequently attempting to access the port. In addition, when one of the colonists wandered out of the habitat, she attempted first contact.

First contact did not proceed well, but Admiral Nom-Giver suspects no permanent damage to diplomatic relations. As Captain Marble’s negotiation skills involve licking newcomers (new recruit Loki has told me of a similar initiation), I can understand the colonist’s distress.

Lieutenant Zeke relayed the distress signal and Admirals Nom-Giver and Soup King conducted a reconnaissance mission, at which point they intervened in first contact and ordered Captain Marble back to Yard Base. The colonist was returned to her habitat and I can report that all has been well since the incident.

Basement Cat signing off.

Highly Illogical

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’m attempting to play Star Trek Online.

When Soup King plays, only once in awhile does he seem to get intense. Usually he’s sitting back in his chair, and if he dies and has to re-spawn…oh well. Me? I still have that learned trauma from back in the day: dying equals game over. Okay, so I know now that I can re-spawn and tackle the situation again, but it doesn’t make it any less dire in my brain.

No! Must NOT DIEEEEEEE! I crouch over my laptop as if my intensity can telepathically transfer to my digital character. When the ships I’m battling keep coming at me like sadistic Energizer bunnies, I tend to blurt out, “Why won’t you DIE?!!!!!”

In the process of gaming I ran across some things which make no sense, either from a non-gamer logical stand point, or from a Trekkie history opinion.

  1. One cannot use full impulse during battle. You can’t warp away and come back after your ship repairs either. Have the game designers  even watched Star Trek? One ship vs ten? The logical thing is to pick off several, warp away, repair, warp back and repeat. Clearly the game designers are not tacticians or Vulcan.
  2. My ship responds faster to the keyboard controls than to the mouse, but W,A,S, and D are all crammed in a tight little area and are on my left side. I’m right handed. I want a joy stick. THAT design is logical.
  3. If I’m supposed to use an item and a weapon on a mission, I can’t use both at the same time. No, I have to scroll and click appropriate buttons. That’s equivalent to going through my purse while an attacker charges me…totally illogical. Console controls can handle left hand/right hand movement. Is there some secret keyboard combo I need to know?
  4. Why do you have to manually pull up a map and then point your ship in the direction of a system? Same holds true for finding people on a station or ship. Anyone who has ever watched Star Trek knows you just ask the computer.
  5. I just remembered a plot hole from ST:TNG. Using warp engines causes temporal rifts, or something like that, correct? So, in a couple of episodes, they have to get permission to use warp 9 or whatever. After that, the problem just disappears. So if warp is bad, wouldn’t transwarp be worse? In either case, I still want a darn warp button.

I’m playing a Vulcan. Too emotional, you say?

My storyline...also highly illogical.

My storyline…also highly illogical.

 

Let’s just say it’s all the human influence and their clearly incompetent skills in designing ship controls.

This guy knows how to fly:

That's a logical setup

Anything for Trek

I am a die hard Trekkie. I grew up watching the original Star Trek series re-runs, the movies,  the animated series, and saw Star Trek:TNG when it was brand spanking new. I watched DS9, Voyager, and yes, even Enterprise. I can’t say I liked some of the story lines in the latter, but it was Star Trek and I love Scott Bakula , so I watched it.

While my inner scientist cringed at the whole “red matter” thing, I liked the alternate universe approach for the movie reboots. Oh, and I’ve read far more Star Trek books than I can list. My first foray into “grown-up” reading started as reading every Star Trek book I could find. For one, I’ve never, ever read a bad Trek book. I’ve read some that were forgettable and some so good that I’ve re-read them a dozen times. It was sort of that way with most of the movies and shows. It was guaranteed to entertain, and sometimes it made you look deeper, and once in a while it hit with an unexpected emotional punch, but very rarely was I ever dissatisfied. Okay, there were times I sat there watching Enterprise and I argued with the TV. “That is NOT cannon! The Vulcans would never, ever do that! OMG What are they thinking?” Still, this was more of an issue of the show not conforming to prior history rather than bad acting.

So where am I going with my ode to the Trek universe?

I’m getting there….

Soup King, if I haven’t mentioned it, is a gamer. I am not. I dabble from time to time, have a bit of fun, and then get bored and wander off to do non-gaming things. I grew up with 2-D, insanely hard games like Pac-Man and Mario Brothers (Damn you level 4 dragon!…b/c I never cared enough to hunt up those 99 lives, I never made it past world 4, except once, but I promptly died when arriving at world 5). Any one who knows me can attest, I have a hard enough time navigating in the real world. The 3-D characters that traipse about in games now take rather more skill than hitting an arrow key and A (or was it B?) to jump.

In any case, some of the games he’s played have indeed looked quite interesting. He tried to get me play PortalI kept walking into walls and couldn’t get my person to point where I wanted to go. I gave up quickly. I didn’t care if there was cake promised. Besides, from what I hear, the cake is a lie anyway.

Soup King started playing Star Trek Online. Even better? It’s free. I jumped all over that.

I’m sure there are hundreds of people watching my ship wobble helter skelter though a system and wonder if I’m drunk. Maybe by the time I get high enough in rank for PvE or PvP game play I’ll quit walking into walls. Then again, this is me. I walk into walls in real life.

When I finished the tutorial the NPC Admiral said, “You’ve shown great promise.  You’ll make a great Captain.”

Soup King commented, “Clearly he didn’t see you fly.”

I retorted, “He said Captain, not pilot!”

For Star Trek though, I’ll brave 3-D game play….going where [I] have never gone before!

Don't let her pilot!

Don’t let her pilot!

It’s a Trek World

I’m not much of a gadget person. In part this is due to not being able to afford lots of gadgets, but the other part I blame on Star Trek. I’m holding out for mind-blowing awesome. You can keep your miracle cloth that only costs $19.95, if I order in the next hour. Towels still work just dandy.

Crazy, you say? I may not be so crazy after all.

The medical tricorder is a reality. Sure, compared to the sleek gadgets in the show it’s like those giant stupid looking mobile phones that came out in the 1980’s, but the point is that they ushered in a new era in communication. Even better, the tricorder, called SCOUT, will cost less than any brand new apple product.

So, maybe we’re a few decades away from visiting other solar systems, but it seems physicists have found a way to make warp drives more feasible than they once thought.

What I really want though is a transporter. Scientists can already beam atoms from one place to another. Of course, freezing a person to near absolute zero would kill them, but that’s a pesky detail I’m sure they’ll eventually work out.

Why do I have Star Trek on my mind?

In the mean time, if a hot Vulcan lands on Earth, I volunteer to make first contact.

 

 

Resistance is Futile!

I got a flu shot yesterday. Aside from the injection site being a bit tender, I’ve not a single symptom or side effect. Is my immune system even doing anything? Oh, wait, I think it’s busy attacking that last molecule of corn gluten I ate three days ago.

I have a sneaking suspicion that my immune system is run by the Borg. It attacks poor, innocent passersby while utterly ignoring invaders…until it deems them a threat. I remember many an episode where Picard or Janeway used that to their advantage.

Perhaps that’s why the whole autoimmune stuff becomes an issue. In assimilating new “species” the little drones get a bit confused over what exactly they are supposed to attack.

Dramatization:

Location: Spleen

Drone: I report a contingent of cold viruses meandering through the airways.

Borg Queen: Indeed. Leave them be unless they attack. Target the incoming dust and attack on my mark!

Drone: <does as told without any expression whatsoever>

Virus: <Sneaks up and attacks Drone>

Queen:  <Drone’s distress registers in hive mind> Hahaha. You will be assimilated.

Virus: <grins as gazillions of copies appear with rotating frequency phaser rifles> Assimilate this!

~~~~

Perhaps I need a Locutus….

 

I can haz holodeck*?

Even those unfamiliar with the world of Star Trek, have heard of holograms. In the real world, they make hologram stickers and other little things where the image appears to pop out at you or move as you tilt the item.  Scientists are working to create real-time images, but we aren’t there yet. In Star Trek: The Next Generation, they went a step farther than a flickery little image or even a life-size image used to send messages. Thanks to a marvelous thing called a holodeck, the people on board could project any environment they wanted. Not only did things look real, but they felt, smelled, and sounded real as well. It was essentially a virtual reality room which didn’t require a suit or interface of any sort. In general, the ship’s crew and passengers used it for exercise and recreation.

Far fetched? Absolutely.

Awesome idea? Totally.

Here are my top five reasons** why I want a holodeck:

1. Weather control

Today I walked outside and instead of breathing the normal 78:20ish Nitrogen to Oxygen ratio, I was hit by a wall of water vapor. My lungs take extreme affront to oxygen accompanied by those two annoying little hydrogens. (Water= H2O) How can I enjoy a walk or bike ride if I’m breathing water?

2. Insect control

There’s more of them than there are of us. I’m pretty sure if they figure out to stop fighting each other they could usurp control of the world and subjugate humanity. The roaches know how to avoid Raid! I’m telling you, they are smarter than you think.

I love outdoors. Unfortunately it comes equipped with creepy crawling insects, flying nuisances, and annoying disease vectors. Sure, they each serve a purpose in the ecosystem, but only an etymologist could argue against the dream of going outside in the summer without dosing oneself in stinky poison.

3. New diet plan

  If it’s made of light, it can’t possibly have calories, right? Not to mention, I could eat a grilled mushroom, swiss, burger with all of the toppings and not feel as if the Grim Reaper was stalking me.

4. Pet day care

If there’s no bugs and it’s a confined space, the dogs and even the cats could romp and roam to their hearts’ content until I announced, “Computer, end program”.

5.  Gravity can’t get me

    Holodecks come with built in safety measures. Unless you are a thrill seeker and turn them off, the program won’t let you get hurt. For someone who trips walking across a flat surface, this could come in quite handy.

Can we program in a beach please?

*The military should share.

**The any location, time period, etc seems to be a given, in my opinion.