Tag Archives: sex ed

La la la…I can’t hear you!!!

What one word inspires instant embarrassment in Miss Drama?

Puberty.

I had her captive in the car with no one else, so I took the opportunity to ask if she had questions. She’ll be heading off to middle school this fall and this is about the time I had the talk with her brother and sister.

She got very squirmy in the back seat. “I know everything!”

Uh-huh. When I quizzed her a bit, she did indeed know the basics, but was highly relieved to discover that babies cannot spontaneously sprout from her eggs.

When I asked her if she understood what sex was, she stuck her fingers in her ears and gave me a very eloquent reply, “Lalala.” Her brother and sister squirmed too, but wanted to fact check what they knew. Miss Drama hasn’t gotten there yet.

I dropped the subject, letting her know I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but if she had questions, she could ask them whenever.

Fastforward a couple of days. I woke to cthulu calling from the deep through our pipes. Sewage water backed up in both bathrooms. Gross. The plumber is on his way.

I gave Miss Drama instructions not to flush or stick toilet paper in the toilet right now. Not long after she informed me she opted to pee in the litter box instead.

Better than the yard?

Oh the blackmail fodder she hands me!

Somehow, I don’t think dating and sex are going to be important topics for her for a long while yet.

 

 

 

Fifty Shades: Parenting Edition

Miss Music, my sister, sent me a text discussing her son. He’d proactively asked for a math tutor. She was very pleased at this evidence of growing maturity. “It almost makes up for the porn I found on his phone.”

Ah the joys of parenting teens (or almost teens, as my nephew doesn’t turn 13 until April).

Her approach and mine differ somewhat. Sure, I aimed to keep all of that away from my kids for as long as possible, but once they are exposed (via friends no doubt) it’s a losing battle to attempt to ban it. Nonetheless, she brought up a salient point in our discussion. Many sites have some really sick stuff, and I don’t mean sick as in the new cool sort of way.

With that in mind, I called Mr. Smarty-Pants in to have a bit of a discussion.

“So, your cousin got in trouble for downloading porn onto his phone.”

“Downloading? Pft. I stream it.”

And that, dear internet, is my son. His cousin, not only went counter to his mother’s wishes, but hid his activities. My son, on the other hand, is perfectly chill with informing me that he streams porn. This is one of those times where I’m both horrified and proud of our communication.

Soup King and I asked him his opinion of said porn, to which he agreed it was totally not realistic, after all it’s a movie and movies fake everything (smart kid). Then we reminded him to avoid certain types as not only are they gross, but illegal. I also reiterated that people can develop addictions, to which he replied, “No problem. I won’t want that when I’m older and get a girl.”

Somehow that thought doesn’t comfort me in the least.