Tag Archives: pets

Yard Trek: Diplomatic Incidents

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 8.19.16

The quadrant seems to get more populated every day.  A feline family and several  solitary citizens occupy the quadrant, and rather than utilizing their own rations, attempt to pilfer them from Yard Base. Sometimes they simply loiter. Lieutenant Jack handles Yard Base border security.


Lieutenant Jack keeping an eye on a quadrant resident loitering near Yard base.

The newest resident of Yard Base, contrary to my initial fears that he was using mind control, has proven to be an eager recruit. Cadet Loki accompanies Lieutenant Jack on border patrols and while he can be a bit over-eager, has proven reliable.


No incursions to report, sir.

The same ethics cannot be said of our senior Gallus gallus resident. She regularly steals the other Gallus gallus’ rations and has even been so bold to steal mine.


Fleeing the scene after stealing rations.


I would not be surprised if one of the Gallus gallus files a complaint.

It isn’t just the gallus either that have displayed unwelcoming behavior. Citizen Diamond expelled Cadet Loki from where he was docked, visiting Admiral Nom-Giver. She claims she had reserved docking privileges.


Citizen Diamond is a known dissident and should be watched.

One could argue that such behavior is to be expected from undisciplined civilians. Unfortunately I must report that our own Captain Marble was reprimanded by Admiral Nom-Giver for willfully venting her waste port within the boundaries belonging to one of the quadrants canine citizens. He was quite vociferous in his complaints. I imagine any aspirations towards a diplomatic career are no longer possible with that sort of action in her file. She has also been caught taunting feline citizens at times and laughing at them. Despite the reprimands, she seems to show no remorse at all.


It’s highly aggravating, that’s what it is! She corners me and all that fur, all that slobber…it’s traumatizing is what it is.


What in the quadrant is wrong with her?!

I suspect the long stretch of heat and rain forcing everyone to remain within the confines of Yard Base is to blame for much of this. Cooler temperatures should prevail soon and Captain Marble can find entertainment that does not involve harassing Citizen Lovey.

Basement Cat, signing off.



Yard Trek: A chick in distress

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 5.14.16

In an effort to maintain citizen diversity, Admiral Nom-Giver recently oversaw the establishment of a civilian Gallus domesticus colony after members of the prior colony fell victim to various fatal encounters.


Our single remaining gallus regularly roams the sector, and it is our conclusion that without a gallus community she finds herself without company. This has led to several acts of piracy on her part, namely threats which resulted in her illegally confiscating food resources from myself. Lieutenant Zeke also reports that her incursions into Yard Base are bold and she regularly helps herself to resources she finds.

I am not certain that providing company will deter these incursions. I feel stricter methods, such as deactivation of her flight mechanisms, would be more effective.

In any case, the new members are youths and require special environmental controls until they adjust to their new environment.


Lieutenant Zeke and Captain Marble are suspected of violating the prime directive and interfering with the colony. Both have been reprimanded and additional security measures have been added to the colony’s habitat access port.

In Captain Marble’s defense, Lieutenant Zeke was seen most frequently attempting to access the port. In addition, when one of the colonists wandered out of the habitat, she attempted first contact.

First contact did not proceed well, but Admiral Nom-Giver suspects no permanent damage to diplomatic relations. As Captain Marble’s negotiation skills involve licking newcomers (new recruit Loki has told me of a similar initiation), I can understand the colonist’s distress.

Lieutenant Zeke relayed the distress signal and Admirals Nom-Giver and Soup King conducted a reconnaissance mission, at which point they intervened in first contact and ordered Captain Marble back to Yard Base. The colonist was returned to her habitat and I can report that all has been well since the incident.

Basement Cat signing off.

Yard Trek: Infiltration

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 12.12.2015

My worst fears have come true. As much as civilian Diamond and I disagree on the operation of Yard Base, she reports that the new arrival has successfully infiltrated Yard Base and now has complete access.

Civilian Diamond is reluctant to take overt action, but she’s informed me that she has made it a habit to harass the intruder when opportunity allows. I appreciate her efforts, meager though they are.

Everyone from Admiral Nom-Giver to Captain Marble, to Cadet Zeke are totally accepting of this new intruder. This means one thing.

Mind control!

I will bravely hold out for as long as possible, but I am uncertain of our future. The cuteness level of the intruder appears to nullify all defenses.


Surveillance image showing Civilian Diamond keeping her distance

Basement Cat, signing off.



Yard Trek: Invasion!

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 11.24.2015

Admiral Now-Giver arrived home the other evening and as per protocol I met her and Admiral Soup King in the docking bay. Admiral Soup King’s sensors picked up a strange signal. Upon investigation we discovered that Yard Base had been invaded!

I fired upon the invader, but Admiral Nom-Giver issued a cease fire. She then proceeded to take the invader farther into Yard Base!! It is possible a changeling has kidnapped Admiral Nom-Giver and taken her place, but also equally possible that the invader used a secret weapon. I heard them say the cuteness levels were over 9,000. This cuteness they speak of may b effecting their judgement.

Captain Marble reports that the invader is confined to Admiral Nom-Giver’s quarters. I suppose this is of some comfort, as clearance for free access through Yard Base would be spell a sure takeover from nefarious sources. Civilian malcontent, Diamond, is displeased, and for once I support her. As the following sensor image shows, clearly we are in dangerous territory.


Basement Cat, signing off.


Defective Human

As I got ready for work Friday a heavy rainstorm rolled through. Before it hit I convinced Zeke to go outside to pee. Marble stepped outside, looked up, and promptly went back into the house.

“Nope. I’ll hold, thanks.”




I went inside and made breakfast as the bottom fell out of the sky and peals of thunder had Zeke glued to my side.


Jack wanted outside. I opened the front door. He took one look at the rain and changed his mind. I shut the door and went back to cooking my bacon and eggs.

“Meow, Meow, meow, meow.” Jack had a LOT to say.

“Fix it Mom. Why is it still raining? I want to go outside. I can’t go out if it’s raining. Make it stop. Why aren’t you doing anything? Jeeze. I thought you were a fully functional owner. I distinctly recall requesting a fully functional owner. Clearly you are defective, because it is STILL raining. Are you listening to me?…”

And on and on and on….

When I was done eating and the rain let up I opened the front door again.

“Really? You couldn’t turn it all the way off? Pft. Fine. I suppose this will have to do.”

I’m obviously a defective owner. I can’t even make it stop raining.

Yard Trek: Final Frontier

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 10.15.2014

A mere five days ago marks the last time Captain Millie, Captain Marble, and Lieutenant Zeke went on an away mission together.


They explored the vast reaches of the dog park. Shortly thereafter, Captain Millie’s advanced years finally began to take their toll. During a routine maintenance sweep of the yard her guidance system malfunctioned and she found herself trapped in a neighboring system. Lieutenant Jack proceeded to issue a distress signal until Admiral Nom-Giver’s rescue mission successfully guided Millie back to Yard Base.

After the guidance malfunction other systems began experiencing decline and malfunctions.

Basement Cat Wannabee was busy plotting galactic takeover and I suspect was unaware of the situation, however the rest of us, civilian Lovey, Lieutenant Jack and myself said our goodbyes.

Captain Millie has proceeded to the final frontier.

Her company during Yard Base perimeter sweeps shall be missed.

Millie Las Ride

Basement Cat, signing off.

A Tale of Two Doggies

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was an age of adventure and an age of really preferring he was at home in bed…

At the dog park today, Marble made sure she greeted every dog and that they were all okay with her being alpha. There were some grumbled conversations, but apparently she delivered the doggie stare of death and everyone said, “Okay, fine, be boss.” Well, there was the one dog. Puppies tend not to care who is boss. They just bounce up and say, “PLAY WITH ME!!!!” Mable didn’t mind as long as he didn’t jump in her face. She did the doggie version of rolling her eyes and muttering “Kids.”

She didn’t much understand what to do at the dog park the first few times we went. I’m still not sure she gets it. She greets other dogs and the other people. She sniffs around and after awhile decides it’s time to go. The fact she doesn’t growl at every dog she sees and tolerates puppies jumping in her face is such a huge improvement over when I first got her.

One might think Zeke would have loads of fun at the dog park, but they would be wrong. It took him over a year to realize that car rides were not evil. He loves walks, but acts like we have put him in solitary confinement for an ETERNITY if we put him outside for longer than five seconds. Marble has been known to resort to coaxing Zeke outside by hauling the food bowls outside.

When we arrived at the dog park, Zeke was interested, but not quite certain what to make of all the other. dogs. Unlike Marble, he didn’t greet the other dogs, so much as hide behind Marble or me. He tried to start stuff with a Shepard mix twice his size,  and then hid behind me while Marble stepped in. “Sorry, dude,. My little buddy is a dork.”

The he totally freaked out when the puppy chased him. “I do the chasing! OMG why is he chasing me? MARBLE!!!!! He’s chasing me! Help!”

Marble took one look and ignored him. “Dude, it’s a baby. You’re embarrassing me.”

So Marble went and hung out by the Husky looking all cool and majestic while Zeke hid behind my legs—again. When the puppy was otherwise occupied by very important stick chewing, Zeke just stood there and looked at me. “You dragged me out of bed for this?” Yep, he’s the life of the party.

And, don’t forget! Keep Marble and Zeke’s dog food bowls full of noms! Trot over to Amazon and buy one of my books!


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