No I don’t mean this one…
I’m referring to the land of teen snark from whence I once drove my parents batty. Now, granted I didn’t really go all that far afield; not a thousand miles for sure. Nope, I am a permanent resident of the adult snark and sarcasm municipality.
That being said, I suspect Mr. Smarty-Pants may end up as mayor long before I’m old and gray. He’s especially fond of real life trolling. What’s an example? I’m glad you asked. Here’s a perfect one that just so happens to relate to writing.
So, with the upcoming release of book 2 of my Crossroads of Fate series *shameless plug* I’m trying to think of little things I can add to a vendor table to catch the eye, sell, and hopefully use to encourage book sales. People like art. I suck at art. Guess who doesn’t suck at art? Yep, you guessed it, Mr. Smarty-Pants.
Me: If I described characters or scenes, do you think you’d be able to draw them?
Mr. Smarty-pants: You write porn, right? I’m not drawing porn.
Me: I do NOT write porn.
Mr. Smarty-pants: Ah, okay. So naked people?
Me: NO! There’s Delaney, and while she would wear leather, no skin would show.
Mr. Smarty-pants: Oh I see, so latex?
Me: NO! No latex!
Mr. Smarty-pants: Wait, are there gay vampires?
Me: No….well, not in this series.
Mr. Smarty-pants: See, you write porn.
Me: No, I write HBO type adventures. Can we get back to the scene thing? *starts describing scene*.
Mr. Smarty-pants: So who gets betrayed in “Betrayals” and what’s the weapon?
Me: Well, really it’s a series of people screwing others over to get what they want. *goes back to describing a character*
Mr. Smarty-pants: *interrupts* Screwing? Oh, so you want a picture of an open condom?
Me: …. No. No. No.
Mr. Smarty-pants: *Laughs like an evil villain*. So, what’s the deadline?
And that, dear interwebz, is my son.