Tag Archives: animals

Yard Trek: A chick in distress

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 5.14.16

In an effort to maintain citizen diversity, Admiral Nom-Giver recently oversaw the establishment of a civilian Gallus domesticus colony after members of the prior colony fell victim to various fatal encounters.

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Our single remaining gallus regularly roams the sector, and it is our conclusion that without a gallus community she finds herself without company. This has led to several acts of piracy on her part, namely threats which resulted in her illegally confiscating food resources from myself. Lieutenant Zeke also reports that her incursions into Yard Base are bold and she regularly helps herself to resources she finds.

I am not certain that providing company will deter these incursions. I feel stricter methods, such as deactivation of her flight mechanisms, would be more effective.

In any case, the new members are youths and require special environmental controls until they adjust to their new environment.

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Lieutenant Zeke and Captain Marble are suspected of violating the prime directive and interfering with the colony. Both have been reprimanded and additional security measures have been added to the colony’s habitat access port.

In Captain Marble’s defense, Lieutenant Zeke was seen most frequently attempting to access the port. In addition, when one of the colonists wandered out of the habitat, she attempted first contact.

First contact did not proceed well, but Admiral Nom-Giver suspects no permanent damage to diplomatic relations. As Captain Marble’s negotiation skills involve licking newcomers (new recruit Loki has told me of a similar initiation), I can understand the colonist’s distress.

Lieutenant Zeke relayed the distress signal and Admirals Nom-Giver and Soup King conducted a reconnaissance mission, at which point they intervened in first contact and ordered Captain Marble back to Yard Base. The colonist was returned to her habitat and I can report that all has been well since the incident.

Basement Cat signing off.

Yard Trek: Passive Aggressive Neutral Zone

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 6.4.2014

I have filed an official incident report with Admiral NomGiver. It appears Captain Marble is committing infractions against General Millie in retaliation for General Millie’s occasional reprimands.

Here’s a summary of the incident in question.

General Millie proceeded to ten-forward for a snack. Captain Marble walked up and confiscated said snack, taking it to her quarters. When the server provided General Millie with a replacement, Captain Marble returned and physically blockaded said food.

A security officer escorted Captain Marble to her quarters where she spent time in confinement.

Sadly, this is not the first of such insubordination. Admiral NomGiver feels it is due to the clear decline in General Millie’s performance of her duties. Were Captain Marble Klingon, no doubt she would have usurped authority. For now, Admiral NomGiver will punish infractions with confinement to her quarters.

Such behavior from a fellow officer is, frankly, appalling. I may have to send Jack in on a mission to steal Captain Marble’s food to teach her a lesson.

Basement Cat, signing off.

Comprende?

Just like people, animals have unique personalities and many ways they try to communicate with us. Some of those methods are more effective than others.

Mille, my geriatric fur-baby, is a yeller. I’m not sure she cares if I understand. If she barks loud enough and long enough, eventually I’ll stumble upon whatever it is she wants. I think that in her old age she’s become the dog version of the old woman hollering, “Get off of my lawn!” Only in her case it’s, “Get away from my food, and water, and MY mom, and well anything I decide that is more mine than yours.”

When not barking, she impersonates a throw rug....a throw rug determined to trip you.

When not barking, she impersonates a throw rug….a throw rug determined to trip you.

Then we have Zeke. I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s telepathic. He stares at you with wide, soulful eyes until you either a) let him on the chair or bed, b) give him food, or c) pet him. He’s pretty darn good at it.

You will let me in your lap, human.

You will let me in your lap, human.

Last, but not least of the doggie crew is Marble. Remember good ol’ Lassie from the TV shows and movies? Yeah, Marble’s a lot like that. She does her absolute best to bridge that pesky canine-human language gap. She’ll “talk” to me when she’s really hyped up about something. It isn’t quite barking, and not a whine, but rather her dog version of pestering prattle, “OMG mom, are you ever, ever getting out of that chair? Take me for a walk, please????!!!! The dog next door peed on our mailbox and I need to leave him a reply.” She’ll nose her head beneath my hand and tug on me and basically act like Lassie when silly Timmy has fallen down the well again. She won’t quit until I follow her and figure out what she wants.

She isn’t a big barker really and she realized that telepathy didn’t work well. When I first got her, she’d stand by the back door and even if I wasn’t in the same room, just assumed I’d get the message that she needed to go out. With maturity came understanding, I suppose, as she’s clearly become much more adamant with her demands. She’s been known to pick up her food bowl and plop it on the floor near me if the usual requests were not fulfilled. “Mom, my bowl is empty. Fix this.” Otherwise, she’s pretty laid back. Come to think of it, if I were a dog, I’d be Marble, well, except for liking cold weather. In that regard, I’d be Zeke, who cuddles in bed 95% of the day.

My pestering worked! She took me for a hike!

My pestering worked! She took me for a hike!

So, I can understand her confusion when she asks for a walk and gets put in the backyard. She stands there staring at me. “That’s NOT what I said Mom, and I know you did not think I asked to go out. ”

She’s right, of course.

 

Adventure Tails

Zeke’s recounting of this weekend.

There were snuggles. LOTS of snuggles. I love snuggles. I can snuggle all day. Well, maybe I’ll break for a trip outside to pee, bark at the neighbor dogs, and then snatch some noms, but then back to snuggling.

10 more minutes?

10 more minutes?

Mom took us for an adventure this weekend! We went for a walk in the big grassy place where there are lots of other dogs. She insisted I wear that pokey thing on my neck. I have no idea why.

I come when she calls…..sometimes, and I can totally take every dog I meet. <Shut up, Marble, I can too!>

Marble gets to run off leash. That totally isn’t fair. She runs ahead, “We’re OUTSIDE!” and then back “We’re OUTSIDE”, and then ahead, “OMG We’re OUTSIDE” and back “We’re OUTSIDE!”….

No wonder she hogs all the water.

Millie didn’t come with us. She’s SLOW. She doesn’t walk, so much as meander and poo a lot. She never wants to play with me. She’s no fun.

I liked this adventure MUCH better than that one we went on when I was a puppy. Something kept roaring. I heard the humans say something about a lion. I don’t know what that is, but it sounded big and pissed. I don’t like to stay outside very long without Mom, you know, just in case there’s one around.

You can never be too careful. I bet if that lion had someone to snuggle with it wouldn’t be so pissed.

 

 

 

Yard Trek: Live Long and Bark

These are the exploits of Basement Cat: her continuing mission to explore strange new grass, to seek out new life and new noms, to boldly go where no cat has gone before!

Basement Cat’s Log: Yard Date 5.10.2013

I sadly report the disappearance of Junior while on an away mission. His status is unknown and it is hoped that he may one day return to Yard base.

He shall be missed.

He shall be missed.

In other news:

  •  Jack and I maintain our perimeter sweeps and have successfully countered attempted invasions.
  • Admiral Nom-Giver has embarked on a beautification quest. I wonder if this is the reason so many seek out our Yard Base.

    Yard Base front Yard

    Yard Base front Yard

  • Captain Marble inadvertently caused the death of a resident Gallus gallus domesticus. I hear the loss was not in vain and made an excellent soup. When asked, Captain Marble said that she regrets her rash actions, but cannot deny that chicken is delicious.
  • Rumors abound that more Gallus gallus domesticus will join our current residents. I will report on that as events unfold.
  • Finally, Millie is coming up on 15 years of age. She wishes to share her life philosophy:

     live long and bark….

At EVERYTHING, and for no reason at all, and at two a.m or five p.m., or maybe just all day.

I cannot particularly claim I agree with this philosophy. I find that stealth mode is far more effective. However, she is fifteen, so maybe there’s something to it.

That is all for now.

Basement Cat, signing off.

Not Millie Approved

“Bark, bark, bark!”

Activating bark decoder:

“Marble wants in!” Millie announces repeatedly in the kitchen.

“Of course I want in,” Marble says. “Didn’t I just say that?”

Soup King opens the door and Marble trots in and Zeke goes out.

“Marble is in. I want out, but not with Zeke. He tries to jump on me while I pee.” I let Millie out the other door.

She’s gone out and come back in by the time that Zeke decides he wants in too.

Notice how none of them seem to want the same thing or if they do, not at the same time? That seems to happen a lot.

I was thinking about my writing today while pipetting a gazillion samples. Okay, only 288, but it felt like a gazillion. I continued mulling over my stories as Millie proceeded to complain about life in general. She’s a crotchety old doggie.

When each of my stories popped into my head, I didn’t intend to write anything controversial. Not all of them are, mind, but some definitely have topics and characters that people might not agree with, depending on their social mores.

I didn’t plan on it, but then again, I’m populating fictional worlds with diverse characters, much like real life is populated with many types of people of varying beliefs.

I have at times considered changing things to keep from offending people, but I always second guess those decisions. As time goes by, I’m finding that the story often tells me if the bit I’m thinking of changing really needs to be there. I worry about people’s reactions.  Will people hate it? Will they like it? What will my family think? What will my friends think?

Then I sit here and hear Millie barking, “I don’t want them play fighting in here. I want to lay down in the bedroom. Why are you sitting in here? Get up!”

You can’t please everyone. As an individual and a writer you must be true to yourself….

Even when it isn’t Millie approved.

 

Confessions of a Sunggle Puppy

Zeke

  1. Of course I want to sleep on the bed. You’re on the bed. It comes with covers and handy people who give me scritches.
  2. Why can’t I take up 50% of the bed and only weigh 30 pounds? You weigh 130 and take up 80%.
  3. No, I don’t think it’s rude to beg. You are the grand nom-giver, so it’s only logical to seek noms at every opportunity.
  4. I don’t understand your fascination with outdoors or why you keep sending me there.
  5. Personal space? What’s that? You let the shiny interwebs machine sit in your lap. Why can’t I?

Personal Space

P.S. Please explain to cuddle cat that it isn’t nice to scratch me when I sit on him.

Don't mind me