Defective Human


As I got ready for work Friday a heavy rainstorm rolled through. Before it hit I convinced Zeke to go outside to pee. Marble stepped outside, looked up, and promptly went back into the house.

“Nope. I’ll hold, thanks.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

*sigh*

I went inside and made breakfast as the bottom fell out of the sky and peals of thunder had Zeke glued to my side.

“Meow!”

Jack wanted outside. I opened the front door. He took one look at the rain and changed his mind. I shut the door and went back to cooking my bacon and eggs.

“Meow, Meow, meow, meow.” Jack had a LOT to say.

“Fix it Mom. Why is it still raining? I want to go outside. I can’t go out if it’s raining. Make it stop. Why aren’t you doing anything? Jeeze. I thought you were a fully functional owner. I distinctly recall requesting a fully functional owner. Clearly you are defective, because it is STILL raining. Are you listening to me?…”

And on and on and on….

When I was done eating and the rain let up I opened the front door again.

“Really? You couldn’t turn it all the way off? Pft. Fine. I suppose this will have to do.”

I’m obviously a defective owner. I can’t even make it stop raining.

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