Fifty Shades: Parenting Edition


Miss Music, my sister, sent me a text discussing her son. He’d proactively asked for a math tutor. She was very pleased at this evidence of growing maturity. “It almost makes up for the porn I found on his phone.”

Ah the joys of parenting teens (or almost teens, as my nephew doesn’t turn 13 until April).

Her approach and mine differ somewhat. Sure, I aimed to keep all of that away from my kids for as long as possible, but once they are exposed (via friends no doubt) it’s a losing battle to attempt to ban it. Nonetheless, she brought up a salient point in our discussion. Many sites have some really sick stuff, and I don’t mean sick as in the new cool sort of way.

With that in mind, I called Mr. Smarty-Pants in to have a bit of a discussion.

“So, your cousin got in trouble for downloading porn onto his phone.”

“Downloading? Pft. I stream it.”

And that, dear internet, is my son. His cousin, not only went counter to his mother’s wishes, but hid his activities. My son, on the other hand, is perfectly chill with informing me that he streams porn. This is one of those times where I’m both horrified and proud of our communication.

Soup King and I asked him his opinion of said porn, to which he agreed it was totally not realistic, after all it’s a movie and movies fake everything (smart kid). Then we reminded him to avoid certain types as not only are they gross, but illegal. I also reiterated that people can develop addictions, to which he replied, “No problem. I won’t want that when I’m older and get a girl.”

Somehow that thought doesn’t comfort me in the least.

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