Trip Lessons


I went on a last minute trip over the weekend. While the reason was a sad one, death in the family, the trip itself was not. I even learned some interesting things!

  • I’m still allergic to Houston.
  • I drove by one of my old high schools and it’s as big, and likely bigger than I remembered, thus confirming that when people ask, “Do you remember so-and-so”, no I do not have dementia. I simply didn’t know them.
  • I’ve forgotten  a great deal of the road layouts, but even had I remembered, NOTHING looks the same anymore.
  • Google navigator will fail you when you need it the most. I was looking for the funeral home and it took me to a dead-end street in a town-house complex.
  • Asking Google to find an alternate route in heavy Houston traffic will likely result in you getting to your destination before Google ever finds that alternate route.
  • As much as I like warm weather, I still find it bizarre to have 80+ degree weather and 100% humidity in November.
  • Forgetting to take off your belt will earn you a TSA pat-down.
  • The TSA is anal retentive about their pat-downs. The lady patted down my hair. My hair is so fine and thin it couldn’t hide a microchip, let alone a weapon.
  • The TSA is biploar. Sign stated, “Leave your shoes on!” TSA agent said, “Take off your shoes.”
  • You can have your boarding pass sent to your phone now and they’ll scan it! Of course, they don’t mention that you probably won’t have signal.
  • Planes are a LOT smaller than I remember them.
  • Airline ticket booking is illogical. Book months in advance and it’s still frigging expensive. A week? Still highway robbery. Wait until the very last possible second and spend two-thirds the amount.
  • It’s been sixteen years since I went off to college and bid Houston, Texas adieu. The population density has effectively doubled since I left, meaning there are too many damn people and cars.
  • There used to be trees and woods aplenty near my grandparents’ part of town. It’s now suffering from a severe case of strip-mall infestation. I liked it better before.
  • Driving in Houston made me really, really appreciate Memphis– yes even with the idiots that don’t understand the concept of a turn signal.
  • I wonder how anyone gets anything accomplished in Houston, since half the day is spent getting from point A to point B.
  • Telling your kids to clean while you’re gone ensures that they’ll do absolutely nothing until an hour before you’re due to come home.
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