Taking Notes


Rearing kids results in a daily test of my poker face. With my elder two on the doorstep of the teen years, I’ve been getting all manner of questions related to sex, dating, and the vocabulary of said topics.

The other night I was asked by Miss Diva what “sixty-nine” meant. I was well into my twenties before I’d even heard of that.  It’s possible I was nearly 30.

I gave her an answer which provided just enough information for her to “get” what it meant without the details. She’s not quite eleven. I don’t think she needs that much information yet.

That same night Mr. Smarty-pants brought up the subject of porn. I have to admit, I think I failed the poker-face test on that one.

Yesterday, at the grocery store, Miss Diva asks what a b-job is and what the “b” stands for. My inner self cringed. Of course she picked the grocery store to ask this question. I try not to do the “we’ll talk about it later” thing, because they are reaching that age that if you brush them off, you might not get a second chance to have an honest discussion where they are truly listening.

I steeled myself and explained in my best quiet voice. She asked about relationship advice too, for the future.

Mr. Smarty-pants interrupted. “Why do you keep asking Mom about all this stuff you hear? You’re too young for all this.” {Says the child a whopping 22months older.}

Miss Diva retorted, “I want to make good choices when I’m older; not like Mom did when she was young.”

Ouch. True, but ouch. On the plus side, she believes I’m making good choices now. I think I am. My life isn’t falling down around my ears, so I take that as a good sign. Even better, I think she’s taking detailed mental notes. I only hope she remembers to reference them after the hormones kick in.

Meanwhile, Miss Drama skipped merrily ahead in search of candy or other junk food for which to beg. At least one is still very much a little kid. I’d say innocent, but this is Miss Drama, the child that pretends you can’t see the gum she “didn’t eat”, so we’ll go with uninformed.

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