Highly Illogical

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’m attempting to play Star Trek Online.

When Soup King plays, only once in awhile does he seem to get intense. Usually he’s sitting back in his chair, and if he dies and has to re-spawn…oh well. Me? I still have that learned trauma from back in the day: dying equals game over. Okay, so I know now that I can re-spawn and tackle the situation again, but it doesn’t make it any less dire in my brain.

No! Must NOT DIEEEEEEE! I crouch over my laptop as if my intensity can telepathically transfer to my digital character. When the ships I’m battling keep coming at me like sadistic Energizer bunnies, I tend to blurt out, “Why won’t you DIE?!!!!!”

In the process of gaming I ran across some things which make no sense, either from a non-gamer logical stand point, or from a Trekkie history opinion.

  1. One cannot use full impulse during battle. You can’t warp away and come back after your ship repairs either. Have the game designers  even watched Star Trek? One ship vs ten? The logical thing is to pick off several, warp away, repair, warp back and repeat. Clearly the game designers are not tacticians or Vulcan.
  2. My ship responds faster to the keyboard controls than to the mouse, but W,A,S, and D are all crammed in a tight little area and are on my left side. I’m right handed. I want a joy stick. THAT design is logical.
  3. If I’m supposed to use an item and a weapon on a mission, I can’t use both at the same time. No, I have to scroll and click appropriate buttons. That’s equivalent to going through my purse while an attacker charges me…totally illogical. Console controls can handle left hand/right hand movement. Is there some secret keyboard combo I need to know?
  4. Why do you have to manually pull up a map and then point your ship in the direction of a system? Same holds true for finding people on a station or ship. Anyone who has ever watched Star Trek knows you just ask the computer.
  5. I just remembered a plot hole from ST:TNG. Using warp engines causes temporal rifts, or something like that, correct? So, in a couple of episodes, they have to get permission to use warp 9 or whatever. After that, the problem just disappears. So if warp is bad, wouldn’t transwarp be worse? In either case, I still want a darn warp button.

I’m playing a Vulcan. Too emotional, you say?

My storyline...also highly illogical.

My storyline…also highly illogical.


Let’s just say it’s all the human influence and their clearly incompetent skills in designing ship controls.

This guy knows how to fly:

That's a logical setup


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