Downward dog, Face Dog?


Years ago, after I had my second child and bought a exercise video to get back in shape, I discovered that some things became quite difficult to do with an audience, especially one that spent a lot of time on the floor.

No sooner would I lie down to do tummy tucks or leg lifts than a toddler would sit on me. An extra level of agility training got added to the aerobics exercises: don’t kick my child in the head/body as the kid darted around me like I was the newest Indiana Jones adventure.

I never did really get into the whole exercise video thing. I’d do it for a bit and as soon as I found a way to walk or ride a bike, I opted for that.

Soup King got a DVD set of yoga videos for Christmas. After two 6mi rides this week, I felt the need to do something a bit less intense and coaxing Soup King to use said DVDs didn’t seem like a bad idea.

Yoga is supposed to help you find serenity while you strengthen your body. Doing yoga with three kids and three dogs watching is like the uber intense drill sergeant version of zen.

“You WILL be zen, mister! My granny can stretch better than that!”

Zeke thought, of course, that I wanted to play the minute I sat on the floor. Marble wanted in on said playing. Millie complained that no, she should be getting the attention. I had to crate Marble and Zeke, as I’ve attempted exercising before with Marble in the room. She thinks there’s something terribly wrong and maybe if she slobbers all over me I’ll get up.

Millie doesn’t have a crate. I gave her a rawhide in hopes of distracting her. It didn’t quite work. In addition, the minion gallery felt the need to comment on our progress.

Mr. Smarty-pants: “Mom, your thighs jiggle.”

Miss Diva: “Soup King, you’re supposed to hold your leg STRAIGHT. Look, watch ME!”

Miss Drama: “I can do that better!”

Miss Diva: “Uh-uh. I can!”

Me: “No, Millie! You cannot sit on my face!”

Okay, so maybe not exactly zen, but no one got kicked in the head.

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