Is that a leash? OMG, Mom is getting out the leashes. Car keys? Do I hear car keys? YES!
I bark and whine until Mom lets me in. I’m alpha. Why does Millie get her leash first?
I’m so excited my butt refuses to stay parked as Mom puts that stupid blue thing on my face. I tolerate it, but only because we are going on an adventure.
“SHOTGUN!” I hop in the front seat. Unfortunately, mom insists on me sitting in a separate seat. One day I’ll figure out how to make this thing go and I bet she’ll let me sit in the seat with the wheel.
She rolls the windows down and we cruise along. I give a few loiterers the evil eye, but I’m feeling magnanimous and refrain from barking. I grin smugly when mom shoves Zeke firmly back into the rear of the car.
We arrive at a big building place and she goes in, telling me to “stay”. I sigh. How come I can’t come in? Oooh! She’s coming back out.
She lets me out first. “Ha!” Being alpha has its perks.
We walk in and the treats smell great. There’s dog food in here too. Is that a dog I smell? Then I see where we are going. “Crap.”
She loads me into the tub and I stand there, stoically enduring the bathing and brushing. I even ignore the other unfortunate soul suffering the same treatment. After all, it’s hard to be intimidating when you’re sopping wet. She takes me back out to the car and then gets Millie, followed by Zeke. I don’t tell them what’s in store, but Millie knows. I’m wet, aren’t I? Zeke isn’t the brightest bulb, and doesn’t notice things like wet fur.
When all of us have endured a scrubbing, she drives around some more, goes to more buildings that she doesn’t let us follow her into, and then takes us home.
This was not the adventure I had in mind.