What am I good at? Being allergic.
After twenty-seven or twenty-eight years of suffering from allergic rhinitis I decided to get tested to see what I’m allergic to.
The first test was a skin-prick. The nurse poked both forearms sixty-one times total, including the positive and negative controls. I had to sit there and not move or scratch for ten minutes. Having once had the chicken-pox, I was well prepped for this activity. I actually got excited when only some of the spots didn’t swell, although due to sensitive skin, my arms turned an interesting shade of angry red.
I hummed and whistled and tapped my feet and blew on the itchiest spots. So what was I MOST allergic to for that test?
- One type of dust mite
- All grasses
- Pecan trees…. rather strongly. I’m blaming my stint in Deer Park for this one.
- Several molds- not a surprise
I was thrilled that “cat” and “dog” and “weeds” didn’t do anything, but then the nurse dashed my hopes. “Oh, no, we’re not done. You might still be allergic to them.”
Next, she took vials with higher concentrations of allergens and injected them under my skin on my upper arm. Again I had to sit there and not touch it for ten more minutes. It took seconds for the dust mite spot to start itching and it quickly surpassed the histamine positive control. All my claims that I lack willpower have now been stricken down. I didn’t scratch the giant itchy bubbles on my arm. So we now know I have at least ten minutes worth of self-control. Good to know. Right?
By the time I was done, the nurse came back to check. “Wow. I haven’t seen a welt that large in quite some time! We only grade them on a scale of one to four, and that one is at least a ten. Sorry, dear. You are allergic to everything. Highly allergic.”
Grass, trees, mold, dust, cockroaches, weeds, cats, dogs…. I got ’em covered. There’s likely things they didn’t test for which I kick out histamine. I’m a walking histamine factory. I could possibly supply a small country with histamine, if histamine was something people actually wanted. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be a much desired commodity.
Oh well, there goes my shot of making millions off my allergies.