Mattress of Epic Dreams

This past Sunday I went to a discount mattress store, asked them where their cheapest twin-sized mattress were and then dropped a painful sum for three brand new twin mattress, two bunkie-boards, one box spring, and one twin metal bed frame.

They were delivered last evening. We hauled out the old ones, which quite possibly had soaked up enough pee through the years of bed-wetting to double their mass. Given that Miss Drama has not leaked upon anything for awhile, I figured it might be time to replace them.

This evening Mr. Smarty-pants announced, “I slept wonderfully on my new bed!”

“Great!” I said. Given that I didn’t exactly buy fancy mattresses, I’m glad they are comfortable.

Miss Diva proclaimed, “Oh, yes, I slept great until someone woke me up.” She looked pointedly in my direction. Then she added, “I dreamt of motorcycles.’


“Yes. Unicorns riding motorcycles with bacon.”

Unicorns, motorcycles, AND bacon? I’m not sure I can top that. Hmm, clearly my mattress is not of the epic dreams variety.


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