Deadly Realm


It occurred to me that I live in a dangerous realm. No, I’m not referring to my official induction into the ‘hood, although there is that, but I harbor two efficient exterminators, or six, depending on how you count.

The four hens are death to any insect or worm they happen upon. Too bad they don’t eat flies. I haven’t sprayed around the house in months, and aside from flies and the occasional ant scout there has not been a seasonal invasion of creepy crawlies.

Midnight has been spotted on mouse assassin duty numerous times. She takes out birds from time to time as well, much to my neighbor’s thanks, as the birds kept pecking holes in her wood siding and the squirrels were eating their way into her attic on a regular basis. I’m not sure Midnight has caught or killed any squirrels, but I’ve seen her run up a tree after them.

The backyard is Marble’s domain. She’s kept it rat free. Normally she settles for giving squirrels an evil look of death, as they usually don’t get close enough for her to catch them. Yesterday, however, Mr. Smarty-pants opened the back door and there sat a squirrel.

Squirrel and Marble exchanged a look and I suspect the last thing that went through Squirrel’s head was a squirrely expletive. “Nutter! I should not have come this close to the house.”

Marble-nator took it out in short order and buried it in the yard as a message to all other rodent interlopers. Trespass upon her yard and DIE!

Since I attract all the small critters with acorns, food and tasty plants, what exactly does that make me?

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