The Sleeping Pyramid

On the plus side, take out 90% of the grains and all dairy and I have a much shorter mountain to hike to get to dessert. 😀

Much like the food pyramid,sleeping locales are available in a variety of groups in my house, with the other beds in the house forming the base of this pyramid. It seems my bed is the pinnacle  of sleeping locations. Much like we scramble over pasta and veggies to reach the diabetes and cholesterol promoting top of the food pyramid, everyone in my house vies to sleep in my bed.

Never mind that it results in worse sleep for all involved, my bed is dessert!

Most days, I get the kids to eat healthy sleep in proper locations. Still, I wake up some days to find them doubled up two to a bed, or someone camped on the floor,the recliner, or even curled up in the office chair. It took a concerted effort over a period of two years to get them out of my bed. Sometimes one sneaks a cookie into my bed. If I’m cognizant enough to notice, I shove them out. It’s MY cookie, err….bed.

The critter horde has gotten in on this sleep feast. The only other bed that the cats like is Miss Diva’s. I suppose it’s like settling for an apple when you really want a bowl of ice cream. I assume, based on the avoidance of all creatures of Miss Drama’s bed, that her’s is Brussels sprouts.

Zeke, our lab-cocker mix, is a snuggler. He’s utterly adorable. He also snores, hogs the bed, and likes to shove his head into my back. I think he’s hoping he can shove me off the bed and have it all to himself. When the kids are home, I shove him off and make him go sleep in a lower spot on the pyramid.

Last night, due to the lovely storm, the vast majority of the critter horde invaded my room. I shoved Zeke out, because in addition to his less than desirable sleeping habits, I think he sends telepathic “Hahahaha” messages to Marble and Millie. They put their snouts on the bed and whine and bark and carry on until he’s evicted. Marble doesn’t even like sleeping on beds because she prefers the cool floor to counteract the heat retaining power of her massive fur coat. Still, if she can’t have dessert the bed, Zeke cannot . Millie spent many years cuddled with her prior owner on his bed. However, she’s rather sizable and she’s old. Her back legs wobble in the process of laying down on the floor and my bed is on the high side. She’ll have to content herself with vegetables, errr…..the floor.

I had three feline friends on the bed when I fell asleep. I think I kicked Lovey one too many times and she fled. Junior simply sprawled on top of my legs– better to avoid kicks. Midnight, who normally unleashes her inner serial killer upon the rodents of the neighborhood at night, was inside. She likes cuddling as well, and often chooses a spot above my head. However, there have been times I woke up because she was attempting to sprawl across my face…..or perhaps suffocate me.  I woke in the middle of the night due to her yanking on my hair. Either she was grooming me, or taking this dessert metaphor way too literally.



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