Can We Build it?


Yes We CAN!!!

Maybe…

Possibly…

But it must involve a great deal of crappy planning and inconvenience.

The university where I work is putting up a new building. Never mind that the top floor of the building I’m in is still an empty shell, as are the top two floors of the new  pharmacy building. Who needs walls and whatnot anyhow?

The building I’m in at the moment is fairly new, no more than six years old or so.  The new building is going up right next to this one. All of the new buildings have been planned for the better part of a decade as part of the effort to build a small biomedical research center hub.

Here’s a list of building practices I’m pretty sure Bob the Builder would not employ:

  1. Block off all the convenient exits to the building where people are working.
  2. Fill a third of the street and parking lot spaces with vehicles belonging to the construction workers, because parking on campus is so convenient…. for them.
  3. For good measure, block off a nice chunk of parking spaces with orange caution tape and barrels. It’s pretty and festive!
  4. Tear down the perfectly nice and functional steps and awning on the already constructed building because someone thinks we need a sky bridge to the as-yet-unconstructed building that will be no more than 100 ft away, maybe 200 at most.
  5. While constructing all buildings, do not take into consideration future projects. The more concrete that can be torn up and relaid, the more we can bill.
  6. Dig a giant hole.
  7. Park construction equipment inside the giant hole.
  8. When a drenching downpour fills the hole, call the campus administration and ask if they want a pool instead. No? Spend an entire day pumping water out of temporary pool.
  9. Cart off dead equipment.
  10. 50 % of construction personnel must be sitting and observing at all times, you know, just in case someone accidentally does something intelligent.
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