The Young and the Clueless

I’d say that the theme song for “The Young and the Restless” is playing in my head, but that would involve me knowing it. I have never voluntarily watched a soap opera. If I did, I might over dose on melodrama as my kids provide more than enough.

Children learn how the world works through observation, trial and error , and asking questions. Some catch on quicker than others. It isn’t always to say that they are slow, but some children like their world better and don’t really want to join us in this drab thing called real life.

I don’t blame them one little bit. I play with pretend characters in make-believe worlds. I totally get where they are coming from.

So when Mr. Smarty-Pants at four insisted the ATM should just give me more money, I laughed, agreed, and explained how it really worked.

He and Miss Diva have learned about things ranging from sales tax to natural selection, to death. I’m confident that by the time these two leave the nest they’ll be well equipped to navigate that boring old real world.

Miss Drama…..


The child psychologist confirmed she has a generous helping of intelligence up there in that noggin. Some days I wonder, but he said it’s how she gets by despite having reading issues and the attention span of a spastic fly.

At three or four when she wanted to be a jaguar when she grew up, I thought it hilarious. When she maintained this goal until six, I wondered if her observational skills had noticed some body parts I wasn’t seeing (i.e. tail, fur, paws). No amount of my gentle hints changed her goal.

It took Miss Diva being quite blunt for Miss Drama to admit, reluctantly, that yes she did indeed know this.

“You do know you can’t ACTUALLY be a jaguar, right? You can be a vet or something and tend jaguars, but you’re human.”

Sigh, sputter, frown… “Yes.”

At least Miss Drama isn’t quite as gullible as my sister was at that age. My brother and I convinced her that our stuffed animals and dolls were alive, that a burp could pinch, and that my brother had totally seen the Easter Bunny**. Granted, looking back I’m not sure if it was entirely her gullibility or my brother’s insanely good con skills, some which Mr. Smarty-Pants has inherited.

When Miss Drama’s sister claimed my hat was made from flesh, at least she had the sense to ask me if it was true.

Still, for over a year and a half now everyday that she has seen Soup King she asks the same question. “How old are you?” Sometimes the way in which she asks varies, but it’s still the same question. It took her an entire year to supposedly remember, and then dang it, he went and had a birthday. She slipped up though and actually guessed correctly for a change. After that he told her that she had to pick a new question to ask. So far she hasn’t come up with a new one.

I’m not entirely sure if she really did forget or if it was a game that she made up in her head After all, until about the last month or two of first grade she could not recall whether she went to school on Saturday or not.

The school year approaches and I cringe. School and Miss Drama’s world do not coexist well together. I’m sincerely hoping that having read up on some classroom strategies for girls/children with ADHD and with the guidance of the psychologist, I can ease Miss Drama into the wonderful world of learning.

If any parents or people with ADHD have tips they’ve learned in the trenches, feel free to share.

**He had me believing that one for awhile too.

2 responses to “The Young and the Clueless

  1. Wish I could help but I learned how to adapt for physical education, not class room. 😦

    • southerndreamer

      And yet, you managed an ENTIRE sentence without a single misspelled word. See, NIck, it’s never too late to learn. 🙂
      (FYI…I’ve known Nick for years.)

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