When I was a kid I loved Loony Toons. Pepe Le Pugh definitely ranked in my top five favorites. Remember his problem? He’s a skunk. And what do skunks do? Stink.
I will confess that odoriferous feet and body odor do run in my family, but thankfully skipped me. My brother’s feet stank so bad as he got older that his shoes made his entire room reek. Remember the icky smell of a middle school boy’s locker room? I do. It wafted into the gym during P.E. and threatened to asphyxiate us all. My brother’s room smelled that bad! I would hold my breath as I passed his room so I didn’t gag from the stench.
I’ve mentioned before how Mother Nature likes to play mix-it-up with DNA. Well, it seems one of my children has inherited the stink. On the off chance that one day the children learn how to Google something other than game cheat codes and anime episodes, I shall not point out which child aspires to be like Pigpen.
The worst thing is that this same child seems to have developed an aversion to soap and water.
“But I showered last weekend!”
“It’s only my feet that stink.”
“Do I have to get ALL of me wet?”
As if that isn’t bad enough, personal grooming skills seem to be of minimal priority.
- Shirts function quite well as a napkins.
- Clothes can be worn repeatedly until Mom insists they be washed.
- Brushing one’s hair and teeth are overrated.
- Matching anything is totally optional
- Clothes and seasons do not require coordinating. Why not wear shorts in January and a coat in August?
I know I’ve taught the child better. After all, the other siblings have learned them and exit the house looking fairly put-together and are aware that skipping showers results in icky smells. On the plus side, all the ickiness probably harbors a small army of germ warfare. In what possible way could this be good? Well, they say that people who’s bodies are fighting actual germs are less likely to develop allergies.
There’s always a silver lining.