Hell for light sleepers


I’m the oldest of three children. We were all rather close in age, so I learned early to sleep through my siblings crying and howling. My mother thought nothing of vacuuming late at night, especially since that was about the only chance she had to get any real cleaning done without little hands and feet promptly destroying her efforts. I can, when needed, sleep lightly and awake at the tiniest cry from a baby, but it’s a conscious effort. For about five years I did that, which for me, meant I never really sank into a deep restful sleep. I functioned, like most mothers, in a state of  sleep deprivation. I rejoiced the day my youngest slept through the night. I promptly returned to comatose sleeping habits. I can sleep through just about anything. All of my kids are also fairly heavy sleepers.

Poor Soup King lived his formative years in the quiet of a single child household, in the house of his grandmother. Quiet reigned supreme. A pin falling down the street could probably wake him up.

Here are a handful of the trials he endures when attempting to sleep in my house:

Things like gun shots and sirens are common noises. I’ve heard them for so long that I don’t really “hear” them. The barking dogs, thankfully, are not (in general) my dogs. My neighbor has a herd of dogs, half beagle-half Chihuahua (100% inbred). I don’t think a worse combination of yipping and howling exists.

They can get on even my nerves. Heck, from time to time they get on Marble’s nerves and she lets out a massive “WOOF!”, which I’m pretty sure translates into, “Shut the BLEEP up. I’m trying to sleep!”

 

 

Then of course, there’s the fact I let poor little neurotic Mille sleep in the bedroom. She alternately noms a bone, pants, and licks herself until I fall asleep. She rarely falls asleep before I do, but that isn’t really saying anything. Unless I’ve had coffee after 12pm, I’m out in under 5min. The grown cats are exiled to the rest of the house, because as much I like furry foot warmers and snuggling, I also like breathing. Some of them seem to think sleeping on or right by my face is required. My allergies disagree. So, being nocturnal creatures, they proceed to careen through the house, chasing each other and knocking things down. The kitten is often sequestered in the master bath because instead of sleeping, she attempts to pounce on any body part that moves. So, she attempts to renovate the bathroom every night.

 

Poor Soup King.

 

 

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One response to “Hell for light sleepers

  1. Hilarious. I know what it’s like to have a housefull of animals. I wake up most morning spooning a dog and wondering which cat has cuddled up behind me knees.

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