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Happy New Year!

I hope your holidays were fun and restful.

The new year is here and tis the season for the dreaded resolutions. Before I put forth my rather mundane list, here’s a look at the resolutions I’ve concluded others in my household must have made:

1) Miss Drama has resolved to get rid of her bangs. Rather than growing them out as agreed upon, she chopped off the offending hairs. Somehow, I don’t think she’ll like the results in a couple of weeks.

2) Mr. Smarty Pants resolved to see that on New Year’s Day the world did not end. He attempted to stay up until dawn, but was thwarted by our lovely sitter. Seeing as how the sun woke him in all its glory New Year’s Day, he concluded all the hubbub was idiotic and he can now proceed with his regular routine of video games.

3) Midnight (A.k.a Toilet cat, A.k.a Basement kitten) has resolved to find out just where the water in the toilet goes. To do this, she’s determined to explore beyond the confines of indoors. Needless to say we are attempting to thwart her ambitions. I’m pretty sure that’s why she keeps glaring at me.

4) Not so much a resolution as a gift, Zeke decided my bed was in need of christening for the new year. He peed on it. Twice. Thank you, Zeke, that was exactly what my mattress needed.

5) Millie resolved not to let the sleep monster get me. If I stay in bed too long, she’ll bravely bark at it until it releases me from its evil clutches.

6) Diamond has resolved not to give up on terrorizing Midnight, even if all the other cats now retaliate.

7) Marble has resolved to spend as much time outside as possible before the seasons change and it’s a 100 degrees + outside. She comes inside for perhaps five minutes before standing by the door waiting to be let out again.

8) The other cats have a single-minded resolution to acquire noms… many noms.

9) Soup King has declared that he plans on reclaiming the 50% of his body heat I steal. He began his campaign by stealing the covers. I plan to retaliate.

10) Miss Diva resolves to lose herself in ice-skating bliss for a month. The zoo has a seasonal ice-rink set up and for the month of Jan. they are offering lessons.

As for me, I resolve to be on time every morning, to finish editing my paranormal romance, to exercise at least three times a week, to earn my blue belt in karate this year, pass my qualifying exams, and to stop pissing off my innards. The last one is the hardest because I have cantankerous innards.

What are your resolutions and what are the odds you’ll keep any of them?

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