Lie detector

I haz one.

I can generally take one look at my kids and know when they are lying. I am eternally grateful they have inherited one thing from me: horrible skills at lying!

Miss Drama’s lies are either she did something or didn’t do something. Seeing as how the pile of clothes doesn’t come with a cloaking device, trying to tell me she really did take it to the laundry room just doesn’t work. She seems to think that I’m totally oblivious to all reality.

“I didn’t do it.”

Internal facepalm as I WATCH her do said “thing”.

Miss Diva lies the least, so far. Usually her’s involve not admitting anything is bothering her, when in fact something is. The horrid poker face just doesn’t cut it kid. Don’t take up gambling. Once in a great while she attempts to blame things on her siblings. Unfortunately for her, this doesn’t work well either, as they all have rather unique modus operandi. Sherlock Holmes that I am, I’ve got them pegged.

Mr. Smarty-pants is a bit more creative, and while better than his sisters, he better fold too.

The most humorous part is that even if I’m not a hundred percent sure, all I have to do with Mr. Smarty-pants is insist he’s lying. Sure enough after about two or three of these exchanges he admits the truth.

“Nope, you’re lying.”

“Nu-uh.” [Reasserts his lie.]

“Totally lying.”

“Doh! How did you know?”

“Because I’m awesome like that.”

The best part? I wow him with my ninja-like lie detecting skills!

“That proves it. You have more brains than me,” he whines and admits my awesomeness.

I have absolutely no intention of explaining, EVER, the gazillion ‘tells’ each of them display.



One response to “Lie detector

  1. Yep you are totally awesome on this one. Now when they get to be teenagers… let me know if this still works! ; )

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