I’ve been cursed!


Okay, I admit it. A witch didn’t curse me; my mother did. According to her she’s merely passing down the curse, as her mother did before her. What is this horrible, horrendous, horrific hex?

“One day, you’ll have a child just like you.”

As a kid I figured I was getting a pretty good deal if I ended up with a kid like me. After all, I was pretty darn awesome! Somehow in my weighing of this curse, I didn’t factor in my flaws. Sure, even then I knew I had them, but balanced against the good stuff, I didn’t see anything to worry about.

Guess what I got for shrugging off the curse? That’s right, you guessed it: three children like me.

One might wonder how three drastically different children could ALL take after me, but nature loves to play gene scramble, and they all have fifty percent of me anyhow.

Mr. Smarty-pants displays my penchant for bossiness, the “I know WAY more than you” syndrome, too many smarts for his own good, and a sarcastic streak. I balanced this out by a sense of fair play, NOT being a sore loser, learning when to tattle and when to use my information as blackmail, and being a peace-maker. Mr. Smarty-pants? Not so much.

Miss Diva, probably my most responsible child, still has a hefty dose of attitude with a stubborn streak wider than the Mississippi Riv er. I swear, she’s taken my attitude and raised it to the power of ten (at least).

Miss Drama and I share the early childhood mindset of “I’m in my own world and if you try to drag me into yours I’ll throw a tantrum so vile that I make Linda Blair look cuddly”. I had the advantage of already knowing the stuff they taught in first and second grade. So the two years it took for me to get the hang of school and its evil work did not really affect my progress. She’s also equally, if not more, creative at avoiding chores. I pulled plenty of disappearing acts as a kid b/c I wanted to play instead of helping with dinner, but as the oldest, responsibility hunted me down and hog-tied me at a rather early age. I feared consequences, so after awhile, no matter how much I wanted to run off and play or not do my homework, I preferred not to suffer punishments. Miss Drama somehow forgets about consequences until they leap up and bite her. Granted, she often forgets her underwear, or even her shoes at times, so I suppose this isn’t much of a surprise.

I see what nature has done.

While I understand the necessity of genetic diversity, it may drive me up the wall before they all reach adulthood. Each child has my flaws pair with OTHER strengths. Some of their good qualities are mine, which I learned later on, or similar to their aunt or uncle’s personality strengths. Nature scrambled us all up and said, okay, that first scramble was interesting, let’s see what happens with these combos. I’d like to know who decided that NONE of them should be peacekeepers. Hmm??? I think nature decided it might be fun to see how much I used that talent before banging heads together. So far, no heads have collided, at least not on purpose, but there are days where it comes close.

I’d blame my mother, but she didn’t really have much say in the matter. After all, her mother cursed her too. I wonder when I shall utter the fated words and curse mine…

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2 responses to “I’ve been cursed!

  1. I do love this! And you do know that it is a written law that you curse your own children with it? Not sure where it is written but I am sure it is there!

  2. Pingback: I blame Pepe Le Pugh « southerndreamer

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